HOW TO SELL WITHOUT BEING SALESY: My #1 Sales-Tip for People who are afraid of Selling

Despite what you may think knowing me the advice I will share with you today will not be “Harden the F*ck up and stop whining!”.

I have realized over the years that most people – especially in the fitness industry – have started their professional journeys to turn their personal passion into a money making profession. Hoping that in the course of doing so they will make people’s lives better and more enjoyable. Not thinking the business side of things and how much effort it takes to acquire clients. Especially Personal Trainers often confront me with the fact that they simply are afraid of “selling” their product – which is themselves – as they perceive the act – or as I would say the art – of selling to be too pushy and something they are too “good” to be doing.

“Everything in life is a sale and everything you want is a commission.” – Grant Cardone

After all if I am the best at what I do, I don´t need to persuade anyone to buy from me do I? Very f*king wrong my friend!

The better you are the  more people need to be convinced of your skills in order for you to be able to live off of your customers referrals at some point. Only when you have mastered that step you can close this tab and go back to nurturing your referral cycle (future articles to come).

For all the others I have written this article. I will tell you a simple trick that allowed me to close deals even when I was in the beginning stages of my career and – like you – was afraid of coming across as being too pushy & too salesy.

The one simple rule I followed was this:

In every Sales Pitch & Costumer Inquiry, I made having a genuine interest in my counterpart my top priority.

The two areas I have been keen on were:

  1. An honest interest in the story of my client – Therefore extracting their needs & problem
  2. An honest interest in finding THE solution to that problem

Quickly I began changing my mindset and wording: My Sales Pitches became Solution Pitches and my Appointments became “Dates”.

Why dates?

Do me a favor and think of the last really great date you had. Not the one where you had to endure a 2h movie about Adam Sandler playing his own sister, but the one where you felt that magic connection between yourself and your date. Where you talked for hours but it appeared like seconds. Where you walked away knowing more about that person than you had ever known about anyone else. Feeling it?

It´s funny that we often don´t realize it, but in that exact moment we are in the midst of the biggest Sales Pitch of our lives. Trying to convince our counterpart that we – with all our USP´s (Unique Selling Propositions) – are THE ONE they have been looking for. That we are THE solution to all desires they ever had.

And what do we do to ensure that we are exactly that? We try to find out as much as possible about our vis-à-vis.

  • We ask questions.   
  • We listen carefully to every little response.
  • We dig deeper by asking further question related to their answers.
  • We listen.
  • We try to get hold of the emotion behind every story told & word spoken.
  • Then we try to sell ourselves by showing the fractions of ourselves which fit to our dates needs perfectly.

How did we do that? How did we go from “I am afraid of selling water in the desert.” to “The Wolf of Wall Street” within a blink of an eye? The answer is simple: Genuine Interest.

We were genuinely interested in getting to know the person across the table. We were genuinely interested in helping that person solve their problem – which happened to be finding their soulmate. In this case the perfect solution seemed to be our self.

So take my advice and treat your prospects like dates. Listen carefully and find out what the true problem is your customer needs help with. Then present or co-create your solution, tailored to your customer’s needs.

If you are to follow only one Sales Tipp in your whole life let it be this:


In everything: Your client’s story. Your client’s problem. Your client’s needs. And in finding a fitting solution to your client’s problem.

If you do you will never have to worry about “the next step”. Everything will come your way naturally. You will make friends not clients.

The difference between a “Contact” and a “Contract” is the “r” – and it stands for “Relationship”.

Auf deinen Erfolg! Pedram